Well, it came at the perfect time for me, and I admit that today was a BAD MOM DAY!! I brought it on myself, staying up too late last night. But Calvin woke up early and was crabby, which made me crabby. I found myself getting super irritable and yelling at him for things I wouldn't normally. And he was being in super discovery/destruction mode. He was able to somehow unscrew the bolt that held together a stool I have had since I was little. And where did I find the screw? In his mouth!! BAD MOM!! I try (and am usually able) to be really patient with him, remembering that he is learning and discovering, and not always intentionally trying to push my buttons...yet :) Anyway, I almost decided not to go walking with some of my gal friends, but last minute changed my mind, and determined to change my attitude.
I came home feeling much better and Calvin took a great nap! After his nap though, I changed his diaper and found the first of what I can safely assume will be many, many "discoveries" in his poo. A rubber band!! That couldn't have felt good being digested...hmmm...maybe why he was so fussy yesterday and slept poorly?? BAD MOM!! (Sorry if that's too much information for anyone).
I know I am still new to this mom thing, and there are many of you out there with oodles of kids who always seem to have it all together. I am still learning so much but even as I learn and grow, I am still going to have rough days. I praise God for blessing us with sweet Calvin and I love him more than imaginable. I really, really love being a mom...even on the bad days!!
I know, seriously, who could be crabby with this sweet face to smile at!!
Oh Sarah, I know this is going to sound so weird, but you made my day when you just said it like it was this morning on the walk - "I am have a bad mommy day." Seriously - I needed to hear a real mom say that she was having a hard day and that life was not perfect. I get really hard on myself and feel like I need to be perfect like how I think other moms are :)
ReplyDeleteThanks for being you - you are a joy to be around and always lift my spirits. I wish the last couple of years that I had been honest like you were today - it would have really helped me.
I remind myself, almost daily, that I am the mommy that God created for my daughter - not the mom I see that looks perfect, but me. You are the perfect mommy to Calvin - even if you end up with a nerf gun in your house someday:) (sorry, had to throw that in!)
I love this post, Sarah!! I actually have my next post planned and it is right along this line. Watch for it...
ReplyDeleteAnd I freely admit that I yell at my kids. It has been a real problem for me. But the cool thing that comes out of it when they are older, is you can have great talks about the realities of life (like Mom isn't perfect kind of talks...)
All that you said, I can relate with, hopefully that will help you not feel alone!!! :)
Great blog! I am a firm believer in total honesty, and honestly, I have bad mom days or moments all the time! Perfection is not something I want to even pretend that I can attain. Yesterday I was very tired and irritable, unusually impatient with my son. As I laid him down for a nap (which he didn't take), I gave him a big hug and said, "Buddy, I am so sorry that I've been so short with you today," and he looked at me with so much love on his little face and said, "It's all right Mommy. I love you so much" and gave me the biggest, warmest hug. Those beautiful kiddo's of ours are amazingly forgiving of our own short comings and that in itself is a blessing.
ReplyDeleteDearest Sarah, any one that tells you they love being a mom all the time, they are never impatient with their children, have dinner on the table and laundry folded all the time LIE. Just sayin'. You ever need a dose of real life just call and talk to any of my kids--they can tell you. :) I love them. I love being their mom. But some days, it totally stinks, cuz life is hard. Don't be so hard on yourself...please? You're doing great. Just keep lovin' those boys of yours.
ReplyDeleteSarah
ReplyDeleteLove your honesty and just know you are not the only mom who has bad days. I look back at some of my bad days and wonder what was going on with me...now I am thankful that the good days definitely outweighed the bad. Hope today was better for you.
Sarah my dear...Your a mom. Calvin putting things in his mouth is just his way of exploring his world. He is fine and you will be fine. Jamie puts everything in his mouth. His particular favorite is fuzz from anywhere:) As to the other moms looking like they have it all together I can promise you that they have their Bad Mom days. Jamie is 18months and very curious, adventurous and so many other things. Its what little boys do. I will tell you that I get irritated and then he does something that makes me melt...thats how I get past those bad days. Good luck hun...your baby is adorable and you sound to me like an amazing mother.
ReplyDeleteUnconditional love...that is what we are blessed with from our little ones...and big ones! Every mom has bad days....more than one and more than once! You are a great Momma!
ReplyDelete